June 23, 2013 - Email from Barbara Ann to Louise

From: b.a. barnett <babaccordn@earthlink.net>

Date: Sun, Jun 23, 2013 at 7:55 AM
Subject: The Re-Assembly Job......written in late June

[Louise: your response yesterday to my ‘dashed off’ verbal description of this moment in my life, encouraged me to put it in writing.  Here ‘tis.]

When I first conceived of the Re-Assembly job I delayed describing the experience....until now, since I have finally pieced together the imagery of the experience.

WHEN I EMERGED FROM THE COMA (perhaps April 12? ) I found a big open space for my mind to wander around in.....eyes, ears and heart open.

IT WAS AS IF some very large ‘universal’ hand (it seemed to have male characteristics), reached down with consciousness.....sensing in me as an entity, certain qualities:  readiness, vibrancy, resonance, quivering, openness, perhaps eagerness, shimmering.  Consciously endowed, this hand pointed toward my skull and reached to cradle and raise up my head, an act that was accompanied by a whisper-soft voice saying, “Her, that one, she’s ready.  Her number’s up”  .....when my ‘being-raised-up-skull-in-motion’ was then spun in a fast circle or two and hurled up and out into the universe, dispersing/releasing it from all structural integrity so that it flew into untold pieces that sailed straight away from me.  I’m not certain, but I think I simply watched them all go.  A few days later the soon-to-be oft repeated experience of having significant people in my life communicate, show up, write, e-mail, send gifts.......became the basis of the THE REASSEMBLY JOB.  They came and told me who I am to them (shocking me, over and over); they described who we were together and what our shared experiences were over a very long period of time from the mid 1940’s (in kindergarten) up to the present.  They reminded me of what we had done and gone through, and of who was there with us.  Their visits and stories helped to shape the re-constructed memories of what I thought had been a lost childhood/youth due to neglect and abuse.  Either it was not so lost, or it was re-claimable—who can say?