Barbara Ann's Rose Garden is blooming today on Homer Lane! Memorial tentatively scheduled for May 10, 2014.

Happy Birthday, Barbara Ann
 

(photo taken by Gayle Curtis on Homer Lane, in the 80's.)

Oct 16, 2013 - Email from Nancy Gilliland plus photos

From: Nancy Gilliland <nancypiano@comcast.net>
Date: Wed, Oct 16, 2013 at 2:55 PM
Subject: Barbara Ann
To: Dorothy Bender <dbender@gmail.com>
Cc: Audrey McLaughlin <amclaughlin3@me.com>


Hi Dorothy,
We were in Lone Pine when I got Audrey's message on Saturday about Barbara Ann's passing.  On the drive down there, we were listening to some Sagebrush Swing and two versions of a song that Barbara Ann turned me on to:  "Blue Again" by lyricist Dorothy Fields.  That was Wednesday and I had such a strong, palpable feeling of connection to her that I got choked up and said to John that I would go for another visit when we got home.  Maybe that feeling was her saying goodbye to me…I don't know.  But the reality is that our little songbird has left us and we have to enjoy all our memories of the times we had together.  That is the comfort, but oh…what a deep void.  She was one of a kind and my life was enhanced by having her in it.  It was truly a blessing that our paths crossed in this life time.

Dorothy and Audrey, it was a very fun day we all spent with Barbara Ann making music.  The memory of the joy that Barbara Ann and all of us shared will stay with me a long, long time.  You both were angels through this whole journey.  Thank you for setting up the blog that kept us all up to date with Barbara Ann.

Sending you both big hugs,
Nancy

Oct 10, 2013 - Barbara Ann Barnett - November 28, 1942 - October 10, 2013 RIP

We learned this evening that our wondrous Barbara "Barbie" Ann Barnett passed away, October 10, 2013 at 6:45pm, at the Soquel Leisure Villa. 

Please add a comment below if you'd like express your sympathy to the family. (If you need help adding a comment, please send it to dbender@gmail.com and it will be added.)

As we learn more details, we will let you know.

We are very sorry to lose our beautiful, talented musician and good friend to so many of us. She taught me a lot these past six months; I will always be grateful to her.

Bye, bye, dear Barbara Ann. May you RIP.

Dorothy

Barbara Ann, June, 2001

Oct 8, 2013 - Email from Merv Graham

From: Merv Graham <merv@funkyfiddler.org>
Date: Tue, Oct 8, 2013 at 12:39 PM
Subject: Barbara Ann
To: Dorothy Bender <dbender@gmail.com>


Dorothy,

I too have tried unsuccessfully to contact Barbara Ann recently, both by phone and e-mail.  I'm aware that she was having difficulty using the phone and, I presume, e-mail processing is now beyond her abilities.
Since you seem to have the most contact with her, will you please tell her the next time you see her that I think of her each and every day, and hope for the very best for her considering the fate that has befallen her.

Thank you,   Merv Graham

--
|\  /|   __  __         __  __o
| \/ |  /__) | \ \  /  __ _~\<,_
|    | (__   |    \/ ____(_)/_(_)_

Oct 7, 2013 - Email from Bob Wagner to Barbara Ann

From: rlwagar@aol.com
To: Dorothy Bender<dbender@gmail.com>
Date: Mon., Oct 7, 2013 at 2:23 AM


Aloha Dorothy,
I have been trying to send the email below to Barbara Ann without success; it finally dawned on me that perhaps you could pass it on. Many thanks I appreciate it. I will also send a couple of You Tube links to you showing some whale encounters which you show Barbara Ann if appropriate. Sending positive thoughts to you all from Germany. 


-----Original Message-----
From: rlwagar <rlwagar@aol.com>
To: babaccordn <babaccordn@earthlink.net>
Sent: Wed, Oct 2, 2013 9:05 am

Aloha Barbara Ann,
I will use Barbara Ann with respect since that is what you choose to be called now, however, when I see your twinkling eyes in recent videos, I remember the Barbie Jensen that I knew at SDSC, who then became Barbara Barnett when I saw her at Stanford. Good memories all.
I evolved into Robert over the years (and even answer now to Lopaka in Hawaiian.)
I met my future wife in 1991, an educator who taught me, one lives to work and not the other way around, so I retired early--in 1997--at the age of 53, ended up on Maui in 1999, got heavily involved in the Hawaiian language (including chanting) and culture (including dancing the traditional kahiko hula.)
Spend half the time on Maui, the other half in Europe visiting my wife's relatives. While on Maui, am out daily paddling my one-man outrigger canoe, especially fun during the whale season. I'll send you a couple of video clips via You Tube, showing up close and personal encounters with whales. Hope you enjoy!
I think of you often, always with a smile on my face.
Take care my friend, I am sure we will meet each other somewhere, sometime.
Hugs,
Bob

Oct 4, 2013: Gayle Curtis sends Paris Skies

Gayle sends Paris Skies

 

From: Gayle Curtis <gayle.curtis@mac.com> Date: Sat, Oct 4, 2013 at 2:10 PM Subject: Gayle sends Paris Skies To: babaccordn@earthlink.net, Dorothy Bender <dbender@gmail.com>

Hi BarbaraAnn,

We're in Paris a few weeks ago and crossing the bridge to the Ile St. Louis, from the Notre Dame cathedral, we passed a man playing accordion, for tips, in the center of the bridge. 

On the way back, the rain had stopped, and I shot a video, after dropping a few Euros in his cap. Of course he plays "Paris Skies", and I thought of you, and Homer Lane. 

I've posted the video on YouTube <http://youtu.be/FOeBYED3BK8 >and I hope you will enjoy seeing -- and hearing it.

Much love to you,

Gayle

 

=============================================

 

Oct 4, 2013 - Ginny Anderson visit

 On Fri Oct 4, 2013, at 5:49 PM, virginia anderson <freyjand@comcast.net> wrote:

Barbara Ann and I had a wonderful visit - she stayed in bed; I sang a bit, and she chimed in a bit - and we marveled at the wonder of how life unfolds.  We took a great word journey together, with topics and words folding over one another - Imdra's net wrapping around us,  traveling on the verbal filaments, and cozy in our appreciation of one another.

A wonder of surrender, a celebration of living....

Thank you both for holding the frame of this picture -
Ginny


On Fri, Oct 4, 2013 at 6:03 PM, Audrey McLaughlin <amclaughlin3@me.com> wrote:

    I can't tell you what a beautiful picture I have in my mind, thank you so much for the email.  I have not been able to connect with her form more than two weeks and am missing her more than I can say.  Your words mean so much to me.
    Audrey


On Sat Oct 5, 2013, at 1:39 AM, Dorothy Bender wrote:

> Dear Ginny,
>
> I can just see the two of you having such a good time. When Barbara Ann first called me to talk about her condition and we reviewed the list of people she wanted to see, your name emerged as the very highest. I'm so glad you've been able to visit and share your optimistic practice with her. I know it is a wonderful gift you have given to her -- and you always have.
>
> I did not know about indra, but now I do. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indra%27s_net
>
> Thanks again and hope to see you soon,
>
> Dorothy

Sep 24, 2013 - Audrey McLaughlin - How I Met Barbara Ann Or The Start of Sagebrush Swing

Somewhere around 1997 I was traveling in the Western Music festival circuit as part of a female trio called Daughters of the Purple Sage.  During this same time Barbara Ann was playing accordion with a Western group called Lone Prairie.  Our paths crossed at a festival or two and I was an instant fan of both the band and her accordion playing.  One late night in Tucson Arizona at the Western Music Association festival we ended up together in the most amazing all female western swing jam session.  The rest as they say is history.  From that night on we began sharing our love of western swing (among other types of music) and quickly bonded to one another.  Soon after, Barbara Ann and a great fiddler, Rodeo Kate, joined the Daughters of the Purple Sage and we traveled as a five piece all female traditional western group for about a year.

In 1999 I made the decision to move to the bay area and join forces with Barbara Ann in a western swing duo known as Sagebrush Swing.  For three years we spent nearly all of our spare time together learning new tunes, honing our harmony singing and creating original arrangements of some of the best western and western swing music around.  We played local gigs at places like the Menlo Park Farmer's Market, a few local restaurants and the Boaz Accordion shop.  We also travelled to western and bluegrass festivals in California, Arizona and Canada.  We shared lots of great music, many hours of hard work, laughter and our share of tears.

These years were pivotal for me as a musician and as a human being.  I learned so much from Barbara Ann, not all of it easy, but all of it so important.  For those years I will be forever thankful.  I am thankful not only for the great times we shared but also for the ways in which we struggled in or working relationship and friendship.  This was perhaps the greatest lesson of all for me.  It is possible to work through the tough times and strengthen the bonds you share if you are willing.  Willing to stay grounded in what is honest and real.  Willing to listen and share even when it is painful and humbling.  Willing to laugh especially at yourself.  Willing to let the love of a good friend conquer all.

In these final months with Barbara Ann we have had the opportunity to talk about all of the times we shared together.  We have faithfully shared our love and respect for one another and honestly shared what we learned together in this journey we call friendship.  What an honor to share these final experiences with her.  Her open and honest approach to dying has been nothing short of inspiring.  I have been blessed to know her and will always cherish the time we spent together.

Barbara Ann and Audrey, June, 2001

Sep 23, 2013 - Dennis Compagna visit

My visit with Barbara Ann at Soquel Leisure Villa on 9/23/13:  Barbara visited with musician and good friend, Dennis Compagna.  Also featured is staff member, Haydee, who tried to engage Barbara Ann in a community game of BINGO.  To her credit, BAB insisted she never learned how to play BINGO.  That was her story and she was sticking to it!

Sep 22, 2013 - Notes from visitors Leslie Peterson and Jeff Green

All,

Here are two messages from Leslie Peterson and Jeff Green who visited Barbara Ann on Sunday.  

From Leslie:

Hi Audrey,

Barbara  Ann would go in and out of knowing who I was.  I spent 90 minutes massaging  her knees, legs and feet; didn't try to talk.  Left her sleeping/resting.  The good news is that she didn't seem depressed or weepy; she just kept groaning with pleasure, and saying how wonderful the smell of the lotion was, and sleeping.  I was mixing some of her favorite lavendar/mint organic lotion she gave me,  with my creme. 

Can you put me on the calendar for Sunday, Oct 27, 12:30-2:30?

Best, Leslie

Leslie Peterson 

lslpet@comcast.net

www.lesliepetersonbodywisdom.com

From Jeff:

Audrey, I was so thrilled when I received the Sagebrush Swing CD in the mailbox this Friday.

All I can say is WOW! That is a knockout sound. Truly extraordinary.

I drove down to visit Barbara on Saturday and listened to it for 3 hours, singing along with thw two of you the whole way. Really beautiful music! Thanks so much for sharing that.

I played the album for Barbara, not really sure how she would respond, but it was obvious that she was deeply moved.

She thought that she probably had not listened to it in many years. It brought both of us to tears of joy because the music was so beautiful and tears of sorrow because of the realization that she has lost the motor skills and mental focus to make music.

She could still remember the arrangements. We talked about the arrangements. She loved arrangements.

I wanted to learn as much as possible about Sagebrush Swing and she enoyed talking about the two of you and always recalling just how much fun the two of you had together.

She really loves the accordion sound and this recording has some of the most outstanding accordion playing that anyone has ever heard. I only wish that we had more time to play together. We are really losing a beautiful girl and talented treasure.

I am so glad that you did get to visit her a couple of weeks past. Regrettably, it could be your last. I can't be sure that my visit yesterday will not be the last as she continues to slip a little more each day and very clearly told me that she has passed the point where she desires to hold on, but does not know how to let go.

Do you know who might be coordinating a memorial service for Barbara Ann? Dorothy? Beau?

I am very sorry that I did not get the chance to meet you when you were out to visit, but hope that I do get the opportunity some day.

We are really losing a beautiful girl and talented treasure. Her music and memory will live on forever in our hearts.

Regards

Jeff Green

Sep 21, 2013 - Nancy "Piano" Gililand - emails

Thanks Nancy for these emails.  Dorothy
-------------------------------------------------------------

From: Nancy Gilliland
Date: Sat, Sep 21, 2013 at 11:03 PM,
To: Dorothy and Audrey

 Sweet Dorothy and Audrey,
   It was so nice to meet you, Dorothy, and to see you again, Audrey, and have such a LOVELY afternoon.  I was elated to be able to play for Barbara Ann and have her be so animated and energetic with her singing.  It was just wonderful to hear the Sagebrush Swing gals serenade us again!  Dorothy, you did a great job on the videos…they are terrific.  It makes me smile (amidst getting choked up) to see Barbara Ann get into the music and have such a good time.  It truly was a gift that we all shared yesterday and I am very honored to be part of it.
    Big hugs,
    Nancy
-----------------------------------------------------
>From: Dorothy Bender
>Date: Sat, Sep 21, 2013, at 11:34 PM,
>To: Nancy Gililand

> Actually Nancy -- it was my honor and delight to witness the three of you in concert as other residents and staff sat listening, some singing along, some dancing. It really was an amazing afternoon. You just dazzled me as you responded to Barbara Ann's chord suggestions.

-----------------------------------------------------
From: Nancy Gilliland
Date: Sun, Sep 22, 2013 at 10:08 AM
To: Dorothy Bender


You know, Dorothy, Barbara Ann and I were having a conversation when I first visited her at Beau's in April and we both couldn't figure out why we hadn't done more music together.  Not exactly working together (since we both have different styles) but that would have been delightful (I had a fantasy of her playing accordion on a wonderful Johnny Mercer tune, "Once Upon A Summertime"…sounding very French), but when we'd get together for lunch…just playing and sharing songs and verses with each other would take a back seat.  We decided that other things got in the way…other things like talking about cooking and sharing recipes, gardening and sharing plant cuttings, talking about what was happening in our lives…and THEN we would do music at the end of our visit and one of us would have to leave.  It was always bittersweet but when we'd reconnect, we'd pick right up where we had left off.  I LOVE that about her and she loves that about me.  We would say that we needed a "Barbara Ann Fix" or a "Nancy Fix" and after our visit, our tanks would be full.  It was wonderful.  We call each other "Canary" and "Chirpie".  As she was declining, her emails got fewer and fewer and one of the last ones I received just said "Chirp" and I broke down. 
So the way I figure it, every time I come for a visit, music is an essential part of connecting with her and Barbara Ann connecting with herself.  I found it wonderful that she was calling out the chord changes for me on Friday when I was unfamiliar with the tune.  I have a good ear and can pick things out easily but she is the wonderful sight reader and perfect pitch gal.  In fact, on our second visit at Beau's in early May, our friend Chantale gave Barbara Ann a facial and Chantale's MO is that the music has to be very quiet and soothing.  They were in the master bedroom and I was in Barbara Ann's room, playing the electric piano…softly.  Barbara Ann calls out "I can't hear you…play louder and SING!"  Cracked me up!!  So I did.
Anything I can do to make her happy is on my list. 
xo

Sep 21, 2013 - Sagebrush Swing Album Cover with Barbara Ann Barnett and Audrey McLaughlin

IMG 1040 audrey barbaraann nancy

http://youtu.be/AdVj_11fyl4 

"Let the Rest of the World Go By" (J. Keirn Brennan & Ernest R. Ball, 1919) --  "a beautiful waltz whose original words hint of the spacious west in a simpler time.  The additional set of swing lyrics seemed to write themselves in 1999 -- although they came out the end of Barbara Ann's pencil." -- liner notes from SAGEBRUSH SWING: cowgal jazz with pizzaz by Barbara Ann Barnett and Audrey McLaughlin.

Sep 20, 2013 - Photos Audrey McLaughlin, Nancy Gililand, Dorothy Bender

Barbara Ann with Audrey McLaughlin, Sep 20, 2013

Barbara Ann with Nancy Gililand, Sep 20, 2013

Barbara Ann with Nancy Gililand, Sep 20, 2013

                                          

Barbara Ann with Dorothy Bender, Sep 20, 2013

                                         

Sep 20, 2013 - Videos Audrey McLaughlin, Nancy Gililand, Barbara Ann concert

On Sep 21, 2013, at 9:55 AM, Dorothy Bender <dbender@gmail.com> wrote:

It was a magical time, with Audrey and Barbara Ann singing together again and Nancy playing the piano. Nancy is so talented; she could play anything Barbara Ann wanted in any key.
Barbara Ann likes B flat. The other residents were singing along and dancing.
Barbara Ann was in her groove;
she was her old self for a few hours.

I wrote some notes in the green notebook, summarizing the cards and gifts (case of sardines) she received.

Additional videos (added Sep 27, 2013)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqc-vYF6G38
Barbara Ann Barnett & Nancy Gililand singing Home




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG-AEhj7fR4
Barbara Ann Barnett - Little Red Wagon

Sep 14, 2013 - Barb Swan and Mimi Hills visit

Email from: from Barb Swan, 9/15/2013

Since I seem unable to post on the blog, I thought I might write to you with a report of yesterday's visit by myself and Mimi with Barbara Ann, in hopes you can share it via email or the blog.  She wanted us to relay some info.

Mimi and I had a heartening experience and stayed twice as long as we'd intended.  BA teared up many times, usually when reminiscing about the people who sent cards we read to her. By the way, Mimi jotted down the names and addresses of every card and package we could find.  Also noted is a list of calls she received. This log is in a kelly green notebook left open with a pen on top of her bureau.  

A package we opened was filled with beautiful notecards from an artist friend.  As we looked around we found others, some sent by BA's sister, also an artist.  We put them all in one box and placed them on the bureau as well, with a sign "CARDS TO BE SENT (BLANK)".  BA wonders if visitors could act as scibes to help send a few at a time using the addresses in the green notebook.

I asked BA if she might like to pin some of these little masterpieces on her walls and she said she would.  Might someone ask the staff if this would be allowed, and if so, arrive with push pins?

BA wanted to share some of her mouthwatering chocolate with us, but also intimated how much she would appreciate a little box or two of Wild Planet Sardines that can be purchased at Costco.  We thought that was interesting!

Oh, BA would like everyone to know her cell phone password  because she is no longer able to retrieve calls herself and needs help.  

As we know, BA is affected greatly by sounds that don't seem that loud to us, but rattle her head.  Her room is adjacent to the kitchen so she hears sounds of meal preparation and clean up at least three times a day.  I learned from Manny, a staff member she is very fond of, that her room location was chosen because: a) it is the only room that has an private bathroom and b) with her door open the staff can hear her easily if she calls out to them.  Upon her request, the staff no longer listen to television or radio in the kitchen.  They really are trying to be responsive to her needs.

Mimi and I hope this information will be helpful.  We will visit again soon.  Oh, I just remembered something else - Manny said visitors can stay as late as 10:00pm!

Yours,

Barb

Sep 10, 2013 - Jeanne Friedman visit (plus video)

From: Jeanne Friedman on Tue, 10 Sep 2013

Lovely visit with Barbara today, altho the weather sure didn't cooperate in getting us outside.  Rainy and cold. So we stayed in.

Carrie Johnson, friends with "Barbie" (learned that nickname today ;-) since junior high school, came up from Morro Bay.  Not only is she a burst of high energy, they proceeded to dig back in time to San Diego and old friends and scenes.  One of those HS friends, Norm, called while Carrie was there - more old SD stories. And even more fun for BA, Carrie provided pedicure and most welcome leg massage.  BA toenails, (formerly purple, thanks to Carrie) are now multi-colored.  Did you all know that Barbie was an excellent water-skier?  BA memory of San Diego events and people was excellent.

I arrived earlier than my usual today, was there at 10; BA was fast asleep.  She woke up slowly over the next 45 minutes but we held hands the whole time.  And Lorraine called somewhere in there too, a call that was lost.  Thanks to tip from Audrey, I charged the cell phone, and later Carrie took off all the messages, so the phone is caught up.

Memory - BA recognized me immediately, altho called me Lorraine after that call a few times.  She told me Beau had never visited her there, so I corrected that and reminded her he had been there and brought her some clothes.  Not 15 minutes later, she told me Beau had visited and brought some wonderful new-size clothes which she likes.

Carrie and I had the same impression of the place - the people are warm and wonderful, the food is good, and rustic setting very nice.  There's a horse and some burros out front.  I met Heidi (who has the key to the meds cabinet) and Manny (brings food), and you'll all meet Madeleine, who is singing with BA in my little video.  BA likes these people a lot.

Pain meds - As soon as she woke up, BA asked me to check on her pain med schedule.  Heidi came right in and gave her one pill.  At 11:30, BA said she had a bad headache, would I check on pain meds schedule.  (The three of us were kind of loud, lots of laughter, especially with the toenail colors).  Turned out Heidi had given her at 10 one of the two she is allowed every four hours, so she got the second.  I asked what the med was - Hydrocone, generic Vicodin, I believe.  By the time I left (1:20), she agreed that the meds had kicked in fine and she felt good.

Food - she didn't eat her breakfast yogurt until I prompted her at 11; I did that because there were meds with it she could not take until after she had some food.  At 12:30, I asked about lunch, and the staff said she didn't eat lunch, so back I went, and BA said she "is never hungry" but would eat if the staff felt they should bring her food.  I had brought a chocolate cake for her, didn't think that was a good lunch on its own, so asked them to bring something light.  They did, a lovely tortilla with avocado and tomato and something else, which BA liked a lot and ate almost all.  (And she loved my cake).  BA said she thought the food is excellent.

Just as she was eating, Madeleine came in and they just broke into song, apparently they sang together the other day.  I got some of it. I showed BA the photos Dorothy sent of the musician gathering Saturday, BA remembered every bit of it, told me names of musicians etc.

Very sweet indeed.

Best to all (and if someone knows Carrie Johnson's em, can you send this to her?)  I really liked meeting her.  Carrie does not do the calendar, she said, just drives up (3 hours each way!) when she can.

Jeanne

Sep 8, 2013 - A few ideas for visitors

All,
I have been staying in contact with those of you who have been visiting Barbara Ann.  Thank you so much for all of the help and comfort that you are bringing her.  Here are a few notes that I have collected from various visitors and Barbara Ann that seem to make the visits go smoothly and provide the maximum help to Barbara Ann.

If you have questions on scheduling a visit or using the Google Calendar just send me an email at amclaughlin3@mac.com.

1. Loud noises are painful so soft voices are appreciated
2. Please help Barbara Ann stay hydrated by reminding her to drink water
3. Her pain medication is administered when she asks for it (allowed every 4 hours I think).  She has difficulty using the call button in her room consistently so if you would check on her pain level and need for medication when you arrive and before you leave that would be very helpful
4. If possible, try to get Barbara Ann outside.  There is a lovely patio with seating.  It is getting more difficult for her to get around due to swelling in her legs.  I don't know if there is a wheelchair available at the facility but there may be.
5. Music is always welcome.  An iPad or other portale device is a good way to share music during your visit.  There is wifi at the facility and you can get the code at the front desk.
6. She is experiencing quite a bit of trouble using her cell phone, both answering and making calls.  If you are so inclined please help her listen to any messages she may have received on her phone.  Also, if you could plug it in while you are there so that it stays charged.  Phone calls are very important in helping her stay connected with friends who are not close enough to visit.

Thank you so much for making time to visit Barbara Ann- what a wonderful community of friends she has to support her.

Sep 7, 2013 - Flying Eagle Band visit

On September 7, 2013 the members of the Flying Eagle band shared a day of music with Barbara Ann and the other residents at Soquel Leisure Villa.  The following message and pictures were share by Jim Broadstreet who is the trumpet player.

"The Flying Eagles had a great day with Barbara Ann.  She did quite a bit of singing and we all entertained many of the staff and other residents".

Sep 6, 2013 - Marya Shahinian visit

A few musings on my visit with Barbara Ann Friday afternoon. She had a headache, asked for medicine and carried on without complaining although the head pain persisted to some degree. Otherwise seemed quite cheery.

We spent a good deal of time with "get well" cards and packages. I opened and read them to BA. She treasures every message and every memory its author evokes. One person sent her a lovely soft stuffed rabbit (toy) that she hugged to her chest, like a child, the whole time I was there. Her delight was very real and she even gave it a name. I wrote some thank you notes at her request (approved by her but composed by me). 

BA's legs are so swollen and heavy that she can barely move them. She lay flat in bed the whole 3 hours until dinner was brought and the electric bed raised her chest to a sitting position. It does not seem good that she moves so little.

I wonder if the nursing home has a wheelchair in which she could be taken outdoors to see the donkey, horses, peaceful surroundings.

BA is quite please with all the clothes that you sent her, colors, texture, size. A bit confused as to who sent them to her but I corrected that. Her lower body was covered with a blanket so I did not see the shorts myself. In her small closet there are a few bags of stuff thrown on the floor. Nothing unpacked, no hangers.

We looked at pictures of her mother, who died just 7 days after mine. BA enjoyed telling me about her mother's last evening and last words, as if inspired by her mother's serenity.

She hopes to have enough energy to play the piano, looks forward to seeing her musician friends on the 7th, breaks into song -- a space of happiness. She has been sent dozens of CDs but there is nothing to play them on. Noise aggravates her headaches, so perhaps she would not play them anyway, and someone has to be there to interface with the CD player.

BA was concerned that some of her musician friends have not contacted her. This may be simple forgetfulness. I thought of a little book where visitors would sign, but who would tell people about it?.  We did talk about the reality that some people do not feel comfortable around the sick and the dying, and so tend to avoid them. 

Sep 5, 2013 - Ginny Anderson visit

On Sep 5, 2013, at 6:37 PM, virginia anderson <freyjand@comcast.netwrote:

I went to visit, loaded down with music books and prepared to spend our time singing - but it turned out to be a glorious conversation, with some tears, much lovely mind- and spirit-sharing, soul-searching inquiry and laughter.

Sang a little bit, as sound-worms came to either of us -

She expressed her ongoing reaction to continuous sounds around her - and I commented on the irony of sound being the greatest blessing and - at this time - the greatest curse. But as we continued our dialogue, her response to external sounds dwindled to nothing....

Good time, and anticipate returning again after I return from an Oregon journey that will take me till Sept. 20.

Ginny
___________________________________________________________________

On Sep 5, 2013, at 10:39 PM, dbender@gmail.com wrote:

Ginny --

How nice. Did you stay with her in her room the entire visit?
___________________________________________________________________

On Sep 6, 2013, at 5:28 PM, virginia anderson <freyjand@comcast.netwrote:

 Yes.  I  wanted to maintain that tabula raza of the visual space for this visit -  to use that visual and auditory simplicity to discover to what extent she'd be able to circumvent the "constant sound" she deals with, and to pay attention to her ability to follow the tracks our contact took.  She did very well - I know it's not consistent, but it seemed a far cry from the fear of dying she talked about experiencing several days earlier.

This was our (re)starting point....

 Ginny

Sep 4, 2013 - Dorothy and Wini visit (+ video)

Wini Leeds and I visited with Barbara Ann today, Wednesday, September 4th at the Soquel Leisure Village.

She enjoyed the chocolate covered cookies and the chocolate covered almonds.

We sat outside on the patio for several hours, singing, watching  IRVING BERLIN'S 100th BIRTHDAY (COMPLETE) - CARNEGIE HALL from
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLgzgGwEsKo
and listening to her Lone Prairie CD which she very much enjoyed.

Barbara Ann sang to us: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxv8SHdkkEw&feature=youtu.be
(Sorry for the lopsided video.)


The caretakers brought dinner to her outside which was placed on her food cart (from her room) so she could eat comfortably.

She's eager to have visitors.

Her phone may not be working very well these days. Check the calendar if you want to visit (or contact Audrey McLaughlin, amclaughlin3@me.com )

Wini Leeds with Barbara Ann on Sept 4, 2013 at Soquel Leisure Village

Aug 29, 2013 - Carol Fitzgerald visit at Soquel Leisure Village

From: Carol fitzgerald <ceremonies@carolfitzgerald.com>
Date: Thu, 29 Aug 2013 17:55:32 

Hello all~
Visited with BAB at her new digs today.  Got there at 11, just after she and Beau had arrived.  At first she was weepy and expressed distress at the intensity of the changes.  and I guess the respite care place was pretty bad.

the people there at Soquel Leisure Villa were quite warm and friendly.  And i thought, genuinely so.  it's got great grounds...donkey and all.  Her room is quiet!!

At Beau's request,  I made several efforts to get Barbara Ann to open her mail; put things away where she wanted them...to no avail.

Stubborn chick...also, a bit like a feather on the wind at this point.
So, instead,  while I was there she made friends with the piano. Sang and played for almost an hour.  People began singing in the kitchen, and some even gathered around the piano, encouraging her on.  It was a perfect beginning, I think.

things I noticed or that she may need :
She's  attempting to address her inner struggle with the need to let go of control vs the urge to maintain autonomy.  I encouraged and supported her self suggestion of surrendering to it all, to letting herself be led...  yeah, right... :  )

She mentioned the challenge of remembering how to receive and send emails.  I suggested Having a printed set of steps for accessing and sending email on her computer, on the wall next to her bed.  Her computer wasn't there for me to look at.  Dorothy, do you know what email program she uses?  Could you make such a step by step printed doc?

Her memory/brain is challenged with remembering names of favorite songs to play and sing.  Could someone print up and bring to her next week,  a list of names of songs from Irving Berlin and 20's/30's

Just in case, I brought a tuna wrap and a salad from Trader Joe's.  She loved the tuna,  said she really doesn't want salads now a days.

I saw what they served  for lunch.  Don't think they're a five star, let's put it that way.

I stayed til 1:45.

she didn't want me to leave.  It was hard to go...

best to all~
Carol

Aug 29, 2013 - Barbara Ann moving to Soquel Leisure Villa

Beau is moving his mom to Soquel Leisure Villa this morning.

See http://www.soquelleisurevilla.com/

See http://goo.gl/maps/Fr7YV


We will post updates soon.

Aug 28, 2013 - Rob Gilmer's telephone conversation with BAB

From: Rob Gilmer <robgilmer1@yahoo.com>
Date: Wed, Aug 28, 2013 at 10:16 AM
Subject: Telephone conversation with Barbara Ann on Tuesday.


BA and I spoke for nearly 30 minutes on the phone yesterday.  It was a very positive, encouraging experience:  she was very present, in what appeared to be full command of words, memory, etc.  
She seemed to be accepting, with considerable grace, the change in her living situation -- comfortable with the temp digs and looking forward to the more permanent facility.  She deftly negotiated getting pain meds and finding her headphones with staff personnel while she was on the phone with me, and did so with no anger or edge or confusion.  She laughed a lot.  We told silly jokes, made up even sillier phrases.  We talked of angels and Spirit. 

Though she's currently just minutes from Beau and the family, she allowed as how she missed them and was feeling somewhat isolated from family and friends, so regular calls are sure to be much appreciated and comforting to her.

I was more than pleasantly surprised at how strong BA's voice sounded and how present she was able to stay while talking to me.  I'm sure she has many ups and downs, even during a single day, but yesterday in the mid afternoon, we shared an extended 'up' experience.

Love to all,
Rob

Aug 27, 2013 - Email from Billie Harman to Barbara Ann

From: Billie Harman <bchbelize@me.com>
Date: Tue, Aug 27, 2013 at 6:22 PM
Subject: Re: Barbara Ann

 

Dear Barbara Ann, I treasure the memories of our last conversation, on our cell phones, when you were cutting flowers in the sunshine on the hill in Santa Cruz. And since then I have followed your blogspot closely. Also Rob has kept me up on how you were doing. His last description, not long ago, conveyed the same joy and love and peace that I experienced talking to you that day.

I was blown away though when one day, hanging out on your blog, I listened to you play "My life's been a pleasure".  I didn't recognize the shadowy figure at first, but then, as I watched,  I saw your beautiful flowing hands start moving so gracefully on the keys, and you were there, sitting next to me again, bringing life to your accordion. And grace to any of us fortunate enough to have heard you.  So young and so beautiful, so mesmerizing, so alive, so Barbara Ann.  

And then as I was already transfixed, you started to sing.   It was almost like nothing had changed. Except there was another dimension of wisdom and peace.   And there you were, that same beautiful voice, that music, that same love. That same joy.  And I cried. Tears of joy. I think that was the most beautiful song I have ever heard

I want you to know that I am with you in spirit, follow you on your blog, and I hold those memories of times we shared together over the years.  And think of you with love.

And I'm glad that you are in Soquel, where I've spent a lot of time. I think that is a very special place.

I love you very much,

Billie

Aug 26th, 2013 - Barbara Ann moving to new facilities

From: Audrey McLaughlin <amclaughlin3@me.com>

Subject: 6:40pm update
Date: August 26, 2013 6:48:53 PM MST

I just spoke to Barbara Ann.  She is calm and getting acclimated to her temporary surroundings.  As I understand it, she will be at this interim place for 2 days and then will move to Soquel Leisure Village.  Tonight she is at Pacific Coast Manor on Wolf Rd.  If you talk with her please reinforce that this is in a temporary stay and she will be moving soon to a quiet, residential setting.  She did tell me the people are very helpful. 

Audrey

Barbara Ann's Calendar

Audrey McLaughlin, amclaughlin3@me.com, has established a Google calendar for Barbara Ann so that the information about who is visiting can be shared.

Please let Audrey know if you want access to the calendar. Send her your google account so that she can give you access. (If you do not have a google account please create one by going to
https://accounts.google.com/.)

July 17, 2013 - Barbara Ann on the Accordion

Inisheer Waltz

http://youtu.be/1eg-ylG0bSc

My Life's Been A Pleasure

http://youtu.be/vN4QyPGUqCs

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We hope to make this the easiest way to exchange up-to-date news about Barbara Ann.

Dorothy Bender at dbender@gmail.com 
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June 23, 2013 - Email from Barbara Ann to Louise

From: b.a. barnett <babaccordn@earthlink.net>

Date: Sun, Jun 23, 2013 at 7:55 AM
Subject: The Re-Assembly Job......written in late June

[Louise: your response yesterday to my ‘dashed off’ verbal description of this moment in my life, encouraged me to put it in writing.  Here ‘tis.]

When I first conceived of the Re-Assembly job I delayed describing the experience....until now, since I have finally pieced together the imagery of the experience.

WHEN I EMERGED FROM THE COMA (perhaps April 12? ) I found a big open space for my mind to wander around in.....eyes, ears and heart open.

IT WAS AS IF some very large ‘universal’ hand (it seemed to have male characteristics), reached down with consciousness.....sensing in me as an entity, certain qualities:  readiness, vibrancy, resonance, quivering, openness, perhaps eagerness, shimmering.  Consciously endowed, this hand pointed toward my skull and reached to cradle and raise up my head, an act that was accompanied by a whisper-soft voice saying, “Her, that one, she’s ready.  Her number’s up”  .....when my ‘being-raised-up-skull-in-motion’ was then spun in a fast circle or two and hurled up and out into the universe, dispersing/releasing it from all structural integrity so that it flew into untold pieces that sailed straight away from me.  I’m not certain, but I think I simply watched them all go.  A few days later the soon-to-be oft repeated experience of having significant people in my life communicate, show up, write, e-mail, send gifts.......became the basis of the THE REASSEMBLY JOB.  They came and told me who I am to them (shocking me, over and over); they described who we were together and what our shared experiences were over a very long period of time from the mid 1940’s (in kindergarten) up to the present.  They reminded me of what we had done and gone through, and of who was there with us.  Their visits and stories helped to shape the re-constructed memories of what I thought had been a lost childhood/youth due to neglect and abuse.  Either it was not so lost, or it was re-claimable—who can say?

June 18, 2013 - Email from Barbara Ann

This is an email written by Barbara Ann to a friend who had been looking for her in Facebook. (She is listed as "BarbaraAnn Barnett".)

On Tue, Jun 18, 2013 at 9:37 PM, b.a. barnett <babaccordn@earthlink.net> wrote:

Hello my long-lost friend, M. Probably FB didn’t pick me up because of a single space between the “Barbara” and the “Ann” in my FB name.  What WAS I thinking?

This will be brief; more later.  Lots of little personal details to manage here, correspondence to stay current with and much more.  Things will unfold about the cancer, but most importantly, please know this: I have never felt better.  Apparently I have been allowed/invited into? a process of awakening that is not uncommon to near death survivors...but please know I am not reading the NDE ‘literature,’ so anything I write is purely subjective, coming only from my experience.

My day-to-day reality does not mix in with fear.....so if you are willing, I would be happy if you could take your ‘concern’ and pocket it for another day when it might be useful.  OK, so it’s asking a lot, I understand.

My sense of humor has never left me since April 8, 2013, the day the cancer struck me while driving my 96-year old Mother to what will be her final nursing home in San Diego.  Yup, I was in a moving car when the lights went out (no, I was not involved in an accident).  Surgery 2 days later on 4/10, discharged 3 days after that on 4/13 and moved in with son, daughter-in-law on 4/14; now living in lovely Santa Cruz, also with 2, sometimes 3 grandsons, depending on day of week/month.  That’s the big picture.  My first post-surgical consultation was, mmmm, interesting.  It began with a hand-shake during which he let go quickly and I took my time, while out of my mouth tumbled, “Look, I need you to understand this right off:  I’m not afraid to die.”  Completely unrehearsed, it surprised me.  I did not realize it had been on my mind, and maybe it wasn’t ‘on my mind.’  Who knows how this stuff works?

My next strong realization was that my best shot at getting through whatever lay ahead was going to be living well.  That has become my primary practice: living well  There’s a lot to that, but short time right here.

‘More later’ is the best I can do at this hour, at the end of a long day.  My spirit is strong and reliably resilient; my energy is pretty unbelievable, often bringing me to tears; my mind/mental faculties are in great shape; the body holds up for 3+ mile walks; the support I’m being given is ubiquitous; the gifts that are coming to me out of this experience are unparalleled in my life and take my breath away again and again.

Well, there, a kind of a wrap-up.  Time to hit the road to Dreamland.

Love & Light, Barbara Ann